10 Ways to Prevent Self-Sabotage


Here are a few ways to keep yourself on track:

  1. Instead of trying to stay positive, try validating your “negative” feelings. What we call "whining" is an unfulfilled part of yourself that is attempting to communicate needs that are not being met. Listen to your internal judgments so that you can adjust whatever is necessary to make peace with yourself.
  2. If your “negative feelings” are about someone else, you have the options of communicating with them, backing away from them, or shifting your perceptions about them so that you can become more accepting.  Everyone just wants to be accepted so attempts to change other people is usually met with resistance. In short: love them or leave them!  But don't try to change them!
  3. Are you sick of repeating the same old story over and over again? Refuse to repeat past mistakes. What happened in your past cannot be changed but the meaning you make of that past is up to you. You can choose to victimize yourself again or you can identify the lessons you learned from that past and move on! Staying focused in the moment is the only way to be from the wounds of your past.
  4. If a microphone were hooked up to your brain when you talk to yourself, would a supportive voice of praise or the wrath of self-criticism be blaring? Learn to praise yourself for your own personal admissions and insightful thoughts.  The more you can accept and even like yourself, the less critical you will be of other people.  Compassion begins with yourself.
  5. Be your own advocate.  Be the coach inside your head that cheers yourself on.  If you don't know how, book an UnTherapy session and I will teach you some simple tools.
  6. If you find yourself complaining about parts of yourself that you mercilessly judge, transform those judgments into goals. For example, if you wish you were in better physical condition, instead of feeling victimized by your own apathy, ask yourself what you want instead.  Then create a step-by-step routine to ensure that you are successful.
  7. Most people live lives they ACCEPT. Change occurs when the routines that once worked no longer do. If you want to break old patterns, do everything you say you want to do whether you feel like it or not.  
  8. Break your goals into small steps that you can manage.  
  9. Hold yourself accountable. Align your daily life with your values.
  10. If you drop the ball, and heaven knows we all drop the ball sometimes, pick it back up. Do it for yourself out of a sense of integrity.